Amanda
My name is Amanda and I live in the fabulous town of Wilkes Barre. I work at AAA in the Member Relations Department. My hobbies include singing and dancing. I am a huge karaoke fan.
I had a mental breakdown in October of 2023. I experienced the worst anxiety, depression, and paranoia that you could ever imagine. Simply put I was in a very dark place. God has blessed me with an amazing group of people who have helped me in my mental health journey.
My mental health recovery is due to first and foremost God and the power of prayer.
Secondly, my amazing therapist has helped me overcome hardship and a medication treatment that has changed my life.
The gym and my personal trainer were another form of therapy that has helped me in my recovery. I remember my personal trainer telling me, “It doesn’t matter what happened to you in the past. All that matters is that you are here now.” His words meant so much to me during that time because I had such guilt from my episodes. The gym became more than just a place to get fit. It was therapeutic and gave me a reason to get up each morning. It has helped me overcome depression and became my saving grace.
I thank my support system which includes a group of friends that a girl could ever ask for. They were there for me at my lowest and just helped me celebrate two years since I was released from the hospital.
I wouldn’t have amazing mental health without God. It wasn’t an overnight process but Christ gave me the strength and courage to get help and restore my mental health.
My favorite bible verse is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I trust that Jesus was with me every step of the way. I was fearful when I was unsure how to face another day. He carried me through my darkest days and changed my life. When I cried out for help he answered my call. I will be eternally grateful to Jesus for rescuing me.
J.K.
I have been diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder bipolar type, Tourettes syndrome, ADHD, PTSD and anxiety. With all my diagnoses and all the struggles I have gone through in my short 34 years on this earth, I try to not let it define me or ruin my life. I spent 8 years as a teen and young adult in various mental health institutions in three different states.
Now, I am happily married to my wife and best friend, I have a job I enjoy and we own a house and 2 cars.
I would not go back and change a single thing about my past experiences because they led me to the amazing life I have today.
For me I enjoyed my year-long DBT class and found it super helpful. I even met a friend that I still talk to now. The DBT skill I find myself using the most is checking the facts. I do this a lot when the world seems unfair. This skill keeps me grounded in the here and now. I find that the best way to get out of my head and off my “pitty pot” is to help others. When I was on SSI, I did a lot of volunteer work, including helping out at a mental health crisis center. Now that I am working, I don’t have the time to have a volunteer job, but I still do all I can to help others. I will help people with accessibility needs bring their carts back or load their groceries into their car at a store. These little acts of kindness I show towards strangers help me in more ways than I can express. Most importantly, it reminds me that even though I have mental health challenges, I am physically healthy, and it puts my obstacles in perspective for me.
I feel like I had two big turning points. The first one was when I was in year 9 of living on SSI. I found myself bored a majority of the time. One day, I was sitting in my very small studio apartment and had had enough of it. The next day, I started looking for jobs. I was hired at a grocery store that was willing to accommodate my disabilities. This job was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was interacting with the public regularly and realized I was really great at my job. I even got a promotion to a management role. I also met my wife, who was working at the same store. We got married and just celebrated our four years last week.
The other turning point was the three years I took care of my mother. I put my life on hold to take care of her in her final years, and it really brought me out of my shell. I had to advocate for her on a daily basis. I was calling Social Security, talking to doctors, and managing all of her finances. Before taking care of my mom, I was unable to call and make my own doctor appointments or advocate for myself in any way due to my anxiety. Sadly, my mom lost her battle, but I know she was happy to have me in her corner. Most people saw that I was helping my mom, but very few people saw that helping my mom was helping me as well.
I would like to tell people, never give up hope of a better tomorrow. It is really hard to see life getting better when every second is a struggle. I get it! It took me 11 years of fighting to get to the amazing life I have today. If I can do it, so can you! If you told the 17-year-old institutionalized me that at 34 I would be married, a homeowner, employed, and ridiculously happy, I would not have believed you in a million years. Now looking back on my life, I would not have changed a single second because all of my past challenges led me to be the strong, empowered, and independent man I am proud to be today.
My first symptom started in 1983. I was at work and was seeing things on the wall, hallucinations. I was taken to the hospital. Doctors tried numerous medications without success. ECT became my treatment of choice. I was hospitalized several more times. I continued to try to work, but struggled. In 1988 I applied for disability. I decided to spend my time volunteering at several places. I've lived with multiple symptoms, including auditory hallucinations. I recall watching TV and I would scratch my head and then later someone on tv show I was watching does the same. My doctor called this broadcasting. Today, I'm working on not sweating the small things. I find that I get worked up over smaller things and worry. To help with my symptoms I use prayer and meditation. I consider myself in recovery today. While I still struggle with worrying, I take steps to overcome. I know worrying won't change the outcome.
Paul
Jenny
“The ultimate goal of recovery is to find joy in every second of the present. And nowhere else.”
My recovery had several levels. Spiritual. Mental. Physical. I needed reconstruction in each department. Each one had a different solution. On one level I needed to detach from the Romantic relationship I had with the drug. It was just like a break-up. When I missed it I reminded myself of a list of its flaws. I truly just had to get over it. Even if meaning I had to just wander the desert again. But I had to do cognitive therapy on myself. I convinced myself that it was the best logic, the best decision. I had to pull on something greater to lead me out of there. So that was God and love; the people I love.
So then that was the mental and spiritual work. All I needed was the physical approach. And that was facilitating the ability to look in a different direction than the drug cycle or drug routine. I had to create a new path; new habits, new routine. But this was so hard to facilitate when friends and family were busy. I needed someone or something to take me by the hand and guide me in a new direction. New scenery. New everything. I was able to meet a boyfriend who did this for me but everyone should be so lucky to discover gentle guidance and redirection like I did. That's what a good rehab should do. And everyone should be able to afford this true medicine. I prayed the cravings away. Many of us were praying and this paved the way to making walking away smoother with less chaos.
The drug was the only known thing I had that could ground me and calm me down from hypersensitivity. I could exhale in relief. I had PTSD symptoms from a bad childhood. And they were made worse by military experiences. I was ultimately diagnosed with schizoaffective, bipolar type, ADD, and PTSD. Every day I had to work with myself and ask myself what bothered me and 1 by 1 I would train my mind with exercises to target each disruptive thing. For example, intrusive thoughts. It was a multi-layered project. For every intrusive thought, I would end the thought with an active positive thought, or happy ending. So I trained my mind to have a habit and therefore a river of positive thoughts started to dominate my mind. I still struggle with dissociation and restlessness, but I re-arranged the perspective I was walking in, and eventually, the disruptions were easier to ignore and minimize in the background.
I always knew something was off about me. I had pride at first but I started having breakdowns all the time before I got into drugs, labels didn't matter to me I knew that even though I was a tangled mess by default, if unfolded, I was a good person
I created a river of positive thoughts by repeated habit which made it harder for disruptive thoughts to fight the current.
Your self-esteem is gold and must be preserved. See yourself as a golden child. A child of God who is innocent yet capable of everything. That played in the mud for some time. But has become clean again
Today, I get my dopamine from living.
Refuse and reject shame and guilt. Thoroughly accept yourself. The best thing is changed behavior, not prolonged self-punishment.
Surrender to change
Do you have a mental health recovery story?
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